3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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