Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
