Sponge bath it is.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
