Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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