I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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