I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wish i was in the wii world.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize