Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
