so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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