His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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