It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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