You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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