whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
