I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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