Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
