i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
