Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
