Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
