Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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