pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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