that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
