how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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