There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
we're so committed to being not committed
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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