you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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