i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
