i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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