I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
