it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
