Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
where are you?
Hypothermia
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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