last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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