like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
