What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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