im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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