Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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