Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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