I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
