Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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