Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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