Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
