So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
