she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize