at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize