Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
