Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
