booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
