Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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