she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
