hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
