with your own penis?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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