dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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