Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize