Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
