Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
