Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
