don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
