I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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