My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
