do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
