they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize